Beauty, music, bellydance, the Dark Goddess, Nature, magick, ritual-theatre, death and love.

compendium of Aepril's communications on art, beauty, bellydance, the dark, faery tale, nature, magick, ritual, theatre, death and love. The talk of a priestess and shaman of the Dark Goddess.

Monday, July 25, 2011

I miss being a forest witch

I miss being a forest witch!

(Right after I wrote the above statement, a cacophony of crows and jays began calling! I love corvids!)

I love Salem, don't get me wrong. Witch City, indeed! But it's a suburb. I am wishing for more breathing room again. I would love more isolation, more room to be with the forest, listening and working and playing in it.

I've lived like this before...years ago. And while I don't want to be so far away as to give up the artistic and social culture that more populated places have to offer, I miss the voices and quiet of the woods.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Prayer of St Francis, Patron saint of animals, nature, and the environment

I was reminded of The Prayer of St Francis as Mike and I stood by a statue of St Francis last night. It was a beautiful summer night, and our thoughts, as they often do, turned to Coda. Standing next to the Protector of animals and nature, my thoughts also turned to the animal sanctuary I hope to create someday.

The Prayer of St Francis was a consolation to me when Coda died almost 3 years ago. (St Francis's wolf died of old age, too.)

It is also a reminder to me that no matter how despairing I may feel about the health of the planet and cruelty toward animals (so-called "domestic and wild), it is my internal peace and the quality of my own heart and thoughts that will bring healing magick into the world. Staying centered in a loving heart best equips me to help and heal. I WILL be able to give more creatures a place to call home. Coda will help guide me, as will St Francis.




 Prayer of St Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Bellydance Costuming as Art

I recently read an interview in a national Bellydance mag with a respected and widely sought after Bellydance teacher and performer. When asked for advice she would impart to new dancers, she said (and I paraphrase) that one should spend more money learning the dance via workshops, classes and videos, than on costuming.

As a Bellydance teacher, I agree. Albeit with some reservation.

I agree, if one's main focus is on becoming an excellent Bellydancer. To become a Bellydancer with a capital "b", it takes years of dedication to learning the form, cultural context, history, and traditions of this dance. Correct technique, form and fitness are a must. One must attend shows and events to watch other dancers, and learn the difference between styles. It takes many years of study to become a master, and to find ones own voice.

So what is it that makes me uneasy about this idea that costuming should only come later, AFTER one has become an advanced dancer?

Well, let me tell you a bit about myself. I'm a Bellydancer, but I consider myself to be an Artist first. Bellydance is one medium that I use to express my inner world. (I'm also a musician, actor, poet, and I've been known to paint and sculpt once in a while, too.)

I'm a Shaman. It's my job in this incarnation to interpret the underworld and inner Archetypal landscape to the community. The medium is not the important thing; that's only the vehicle. I'M only the vehicle. It's more about the message; the content. It's about the embodiment of spirit, and communication between the invisibles and the audience.


For me, costuming is a major part of the art, part of the ritual. The making of the costuming is a part of a contemplative practice. Sometimes other people make the costumes for me (I'm bad at sewing) but in this case the envisioning of the costume is the art. What would The Morrigan wear to tell her story? How would She appear? I let Her tell me.

I spend many hours opening myself up to spirit, listening to what I'm being told. I also do a ton of research. Once an archetype talks to me, and I know that I will be performing her, I do my homework and find everything I can about her mythology and history. As a primarily right-brained person, I work with the symbols I find and make connections between them. It is in this way that I create my theatrical persona.

I then become this character. I practice being her. I practice being her walking down the street, etc. She becomes more and more solid this way. Once I hit the stage, I'm as ready as I can be to channel her.

Self-portrait as The Washer at the Ford

So, my orientation toward Bellydance has been different from many. I love this dance for its own sake, deeply and truly. But I do it as an Artist/Shaman first, not as a Bellydancer first. It took me many years to realize that fact fully; with all the pressure to become an expert on Middle Eastern culture, to be fully versed in every bit of dance vocabulary possible, to know all the drum rhythms and their names, to fit into the Bellydance community. I've had quite a journey, and I've learned who I am and who I am not: I am NOT a keeper of tradition, though I am well versed in it. I'm very glad that some people are keepers, but this is not my path. 

Yes, I think that technique and form are paramount to being a master dancer--how else could one tell a story well? My tools need to be effective and sharp, and that means continuing to improve my dance skills, honing my craft, making my work better and better. The more control, elegance and athleticism I can express with my body, the happier the archetype will be to speak through it.


Would I tell my students to work on their dance skills first, and only then spend their money on costuming?

Here's what I would say: If you aspire to be a dancer, you need to know how to dance. It is not OK to hop onstage with a great costume but not be able to dance well. Not if you want to call yourself Bellydancer. Whatever art form you use, you need to hone your craft before you present to the world.

HOWEVER, costuming and creating persona is an art form, too. It needn't come second. Creating costuming can help you find your voice, and give you impetus to learn technique. Beauty loves to show itself. But it requires right timing. Pay close attention to your body and its feelings; it will tell when you are ready. If you create a beautiful costume to wear, give your art what it deserves and dance it well. Or sing it well. Or act it well. If it is your inclination, be an artist on every level you can.

There are many valid approaches. For me, costuming is not decoration on what is essentially technical prowess, nor is it icing on the cake or anything like that. The movement needs to have meaning, the costume does, too. The art is made as a whole.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Grandmother

I was blessed with the opportunity to spend time with my Grandmother this past week.

Wednesday was her 92nd birthday.

My Grandmother is very sick. Physically worn-out, her body hurts. Her heart is sick with missing my Grandfather; they married when she was just 16. Now she says she is ready to go to God.


I feel helpless. Death and old age! I feel lost about how to give her more comfort, to help her find peace. And I feel angry--at Nature, for having us ever get old. Why this suffering?

The old and sick don't last like this in the wild. Is this elongated aging and dying the price we pay for domestication?

I had the chance to talk with her about our family. I asked her to tell me stories about herself and my Grandfather. I asked about her parents. I asked about my father--what was he like very young? She doesn't like to talk abut herself, but still I recieved her help for my current project of building our family tree.


In her youth, she was charismatic and magical, lovely. She was intense with piercing blue eyes. She worried a lot and cared for everyone. She was popular and charming and liked to drink and laugh. She is the family member from whom I inherited music; a dancer, she and my Grandfather danced together at contests and shows.

My Grandmother is still beautiful.

Great Goddess, Lady Mary, You to whom my Grandmother has prayed over her rosary so many times...please Lady, give her some comfort and peace.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Skeleton Woman: Solar Eclipse July 1, 2011

 Solar eclipses are wildcards. I happen to love wildcards (maybe because I have Uranus strong in my chart). One never knows exactly when the power of the solar eclipse is going to strike. It can happen days before during or after the eclipse event. To me this is part of its shadowy beauty.

 The chart for this Solar Eclipse shows a grand cross involving some very serious characters: Saturn, Lord of Time, Pluto, Lord of Death, Uranus, Lord of Change in the Sun and the Moon themselves. This is serious karmic business, almost apocalyptic in nature. Something will be born; something will have to die.

 The Sabian symbol for Friday's solar eclipse at 9° Cancer is: "A Small Naked Girl Bends Over A Pond Trying To Catch A Fish". Cancer rules the emotions; ruled by the Moon, she is a nighttime spirit. Perhaps the small girl is trying to catch a fish by moonlight? What kind of fish is she trying to catch and how deep is the pond?

 One of my favorite books in the world is one by Clarissa Pinkola Estes entitled Women Who Run with the Wolves. In her chapter "When the Heart is a Lonely Hunter", she tells us the story of Skeleton Woman, the girl who was thrown into the sea by her father. Rejected and discarded she rots at the bottom of the pond, becoming a fearsome thing of bone and hair. One day, a Fisherman comes along hoping to catch the biggest fish ever. He instead catches Skeleton Woman, and, seeing her bald head rise above the water as he pulls on his fishing pole, attempts to throw her back and run away as fast as he can. But, having been pulled from the water, Skeleton Woman seems to chase him wherever he goes. She's actually still attached to his fishing line which he still has attached himself. Eventually, the frightened Fisherman has an intuitive flash and heart opening and realizes that maybe the best thing to do would be to sing to Skeleton Woman instead of running away. As he does so her heart begins to beat again and she becomes the beautiful flesh and blood woman of his dreams.

Estes interprets the story to be about the Life/Death/Life nature of love; that though we may be out to catch the biggest fish ever, to find the pond that yields fish after fish forever, in order to find real sustenance and Love one has to sing to Skeleton Woman. In order to have Life, one has to also accept Death. And She is beautiful.


The naked young girl is the Fisherman but she is also the fish. She is a yet to be developed part of our own souls that wishes to retrieve herself. So, who is the naked young girl inside of us? What have we rejected about ourselves and/or what vulnerable part of ourselves do we put aside in order to catch the biggest fish?

Somewhere in our lives a new era is waiting to Dawn. But these are the rules: Experience things as deeply as you can. Recognize what your real needs are and own them. Love yourself madly, ESPECIALLY your "ugly" parts. Dance in the Moonlight. Know that "beautiful" doesn't necessarily mean “pretty” (and vice versa). And be willing to sing gently and lovingly to Skeleton Woman if her bald head emerges from the waves.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

The Four-fold Way: An Approach to Performance

I've written what is below based on anthrologist and author Angeles Arrien's "Four Fold Way", a mode of being and practice that is harmony with the deep self and with Nature.

I teach this to my students as a way to approach performance. It is how I endeavor to approach performance. It is also an approach to LIFE!

The Four-fold Way:
1.       Show up:
be present in mind body and spirit.
2.       Pay attention:
Quiet the "noise" of the mind. Sense fully what is currently going on around you. Listen to your body and to the music, note by note. Do not go forward or back in time.
3.       Tell the truth:
 
Be authentic! Be where you are now, as opposed to where you'd like to be. Feel what you are really feeling; your body will always tell you how to do this. Dramatic art versus pretension.
 
4.       Be unattached to outcome: 
 
Staying fully in the present ensures the best outcome. Keep your mind focused on what you are doing, as opposed to what you will do or what you did do. Let go of judgment. Open yourself to life, be a medium for energy as opposed to controlling it. TRUST yourself fully and unconditionally!
 
 

Friday, June 24, 2011

"Theatre of the Dark Goddess: Bellydance with Aepril Schaile" DVD Fundraiser!

Theatre of the Dark Goddess: Bellydance with Aepril Schaile


A Bellydance instructional/performance DVD focusing on dance technique, form, expression, energy and ritual.

Aepril is thrilled to announce her new self-produced DVD to bring you her unique approach to Bellydance! Help make it happen!
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/aepril/theatre-of-the-dark-goddess-bellydance-with-aepril