"J" is for: Is it My Job?

I’ve received many responses to my post  A Witch Who Cannot Hex, Cannot Heal, (“H” for the Pagan Blog Project). The majority have been supportive and positive. Some people have even said that they have felt liberated by what I said. Wow! Other people have disagreed, and that’s fine. Not everyone is going to be comfortable with the ideas in the post.

But one argument stands out for me as totally absurd: that I shouldn't write these things because  it will give the rest of the world the wrong impression about Witches; that it only confirms to the world that Witches are all about curses, people will take it the wrong way...Etc.

Oh, please! Why should I be responsible for what other people think? I can’t control that. It’s not my job to try. I don't represent all Witches everywhere, and though yes, I expect that my words could influence thought, its not my job to control the outcome of this influence. I am reminded  of what’s been said a thousand times to LGBT people by other LGBT people: that they should modify their behavior (i.e. not be too “flamboyant” or demonstrative) in order to be “accepted” by society. Oh yank, yank, yank. How does that usually turn out? The same has been said to every oppressed group in history, from women to African Americans, to indigenous tribes everywhere, to Witches.

For this week’s Pagan Blog Project post, I am inspired to write for “J”: “Is it my ‘Job’?”.

My job, and the job of Witches, is to answer to our higher selves, and to embrace our CALLING. Not to obsess about what the neighbors will think. I am not saying that sometimes it is not necessary to stay on the down low for self-protection. That is survival, and I get that. But to be less than oneself in order to “accepted”? Ha! News flash ya’ll: if you have to make yourself smaller for anyone, they’re not going to accept you anyway. That’s how it is, that’s how it’s always been, and that is how it will be. Don’t you think that the witches who were hung and burned thought about modifying their behavior to get along before they ended up on the stake or gallows? Don’t you think that many tried this to see if maybe they could be “accepted”? Besides, you’re not being accepted if you are changing who you are. Some charade that you are acting out is being merely tolerated.

I had a long conversation with Laurie Cabot the other day, as we were preparing for my interview with her about her days as a Bellydancer. (interview to appear in Belly Dance New England magazine soon!) We talked about this idea of one’s calling, and how it is essential that, in order to be truly empowered to answer a calling, one MUST NOT entertain the smallness of some minds. To do so is pointless and a waste of energy. Laurie Cabot is one who has sacrificed a great deal to be true to herself as a Witch, as an artist, and as a woman over many decades. Though she has paid the price, she still felt that it was essential, for true sovereignty over one’s life as a Witch and/or simply as a human being, that we not expend energy what “those people” say.

Jungian psychologist James Hillman, in his book The Soul’s Code: In Search of Character and Calling, talks a great deal about the dangers of not answering the call that comes from within. He says that we are all born with an “acorn” (seed) or “daimon” (not demon, read carefully, please). He asserts that when the daimon within is thwarted for whatever reason (“acceptance” by society? “Sacrificing” for the “sake of the kids”?) the person becomes twisted up and passes this fucked-up-ness down into the next generations. He says that in order to have a healthy, empowered life, one must answer the calling fully. This is not a selfish act; on the contrary, it creates an empowered path to health that is then passed down to those who come after. And check it out: we then become the best elders and ancestors we can be! How about it? Win-win.

Whatever our stance on hexing and healing, I think that it’s a waste of time for any of us to hold back our ideas and feelings just because “we’re not accepted in society yet.” Seriously? How long should we wait? I’m not holding my breath. I’m going to set my intention to do my real job, which is to be myself, fully and lovingly. Acceptance starts within.

And as within, so without.

serpent moon

Please visit my dance and health diary, serpent moon. I write for one cycle of the moon, new moon to new moon, to create better habits and authentically chronicle my practice.

serpent moon:
http://serpentmoondance.blogspot.com/

"G" is for Gwyddion the magick dog

Photo by Pamela Joye

Gwyddion has been a part of our family now for over 6 weeks. A rescue dog from Arkansas, Gwyddie has taken to his New England digs like a fish to water.

A slippery fish at that! Gwyddion was aptly named for the Welsh Trickster-Magician-Hero of Welsh mythology. He is a tricky little fellow, part Blue Heeler (Australian Cattle Dog) and, we think, part Pointer. He is quite a joker, clowning at every opportunity he can get, hiding my things, throwing his tennis ball for himself, running faster than the speed of sound, disrupting everything I try to do around the house, highly curious about everything, and even disappearing once or twice.

Photo by Pamela Joye

Gwyddion came to us with the name "DC", short for "Diamond City". His Foster Mom tells me that he was found after he approached the mayor of Diamond City, AR, at their annual Fall fair. (Right to the top!) The mayor was kind enough to take him in, but by law she had to pass him onto the city pound in order to give his "owners" the opportunity to claim him.

They didn't.

Photo by Pamela Joye

So, after 15 days, Gwyddion, aka DC, was released to the rescue group Ozark Homeward Bound. He remained in his foster home with his foster mom Jacki until he was adopted by us!

And how did he end up being found by his parents in Salem, MA all the way from AR?

I was perusing rescue sites online looking up Blue Heelers for adoption. And there was his face! I knew right away that he was the boy for our family.

Deep in contemplation of the wonders of nature in the Salem Woods

I emailed OHB, and they sent me more info about him, along with the phone # for his foster mother. Jacki and I had one of many long conversations about "DC", partly in order to determine if we were a good match.

It seems we were. The day that DC/Gwyddion was transported here from AR (covered as part of his adoption fee along with neutering and shots) is one of the high points of our lives! Michael and I couldn't be happier, Gwyddie brings us so much joy!

And Gwyddie has helped heal our hearts after losing Coda, our infinitely beloved wolf-dog who passed away a few years ago. although I can't help but wish that I had the both of them with me forever. Big and little, King and Jester.

He loves to be chased--and to chase!

And as a public service announcement, I'd like to say this: PLEASE, before you decide to go to a breeder for a dog, please consider adoption from a shelter or rescue group. So many of the Goddess's creatures are sitting in kennels, waiting to be adopted, hoping that they might be the ones to go home with someone special. Rescue dogs and cats are the best! We cannot preach about loving the Goddess and Her great earth while we ignore the possibilities that await us in the love of an animal who has already been born. Why should anyone have to feel rejected, or, worse, face the possibility of death just because no one stepped up and took them home, preferring a new puppy, bred to be bought, over them?

Many organizations will transport a four-legged right to you from far away. Salem, MA, where I live has a great shelter. (For whom the bellydance community here just raised over $1400!) so if you see a dog online and have the intuition that this may be the one for you, ask about transporting.

I can't tell you how much I LOVE GWYDDION! Our magick dog.

I have posted this as a participant in the Pagan Blog Project. This week's theme is the letter "G".

Photo by Pamela Joye 

What is Theatrical Bellydance?

I've been involved in many a discussion about what makes Bellydance "Theatrical".

Let me put forth the Wikipedia definition of theatre, and go from there:

"Theatre (in American English usually theater^[1]) is a collaborative form of fine art that uses live performers to present the experience of a real or imagined event before a live audience in a specific place. The performers may communicate this experience to the audience through combinations of gesture, speech, song, music or dance. Elements of design and stagecraft are used to enhance the physicality, presence and immediacy of the experience."

There has been a trend in Bellydance in which many dancers call themselves "Theatrical" Bellydancers. I am very glad for this! But, I do have one condition for my gladness: that the performances that self-described Bellydancers do are indeed "theatrical". 

Photo by Alison Perkel

By the definition above, one with which I mostly agree, theatricality involves the creation of an experience for the audience and the performer. And I would say that it involves communication, the creation of an "event" through which the participants can be transported to another place and time. Or, conversely, or even simultaneously, become more aware of, and deeply involved in, the present. 

To me a truly successful Theatrical performance makes the audience (even other bellydancers!) forget about the technical aspects of a piece; that they become wholly engrossed in the performance, in the story and the emotional experience.

I recently had a discussion with a lovely student of mine about what constitutes "theatricality". She had mentioned how much she enjoyed Theatrical Bellydancer Anasma's performances, in that they have a story with a beginning and ending, and that her work is inspiring in that way. (I, too love Anasma's work.)

Ruth St Denis

Narrative theatre is one way to express oneself as a Theatrical Bellydancer, and one of my favorites (and one of the most difficult to do well.). I think, too, that there are other ways. There is also "Ritual Bellydance", which has its overlapping areas with Theatrical. Ritual can be a theatre event; indeed, it is the oldest form of theatre, transporting us back to ancient Greek and Egyptian ritual-theatre. The public was able to live out the mythical stories of the Gods and Goddesses through the theatrical-ritual performance of the actor-priest/esses.

There is also cabaret style theatricality, which does not necessarily have a ritual or narrative element, but embodies a character on the stage none-the-less. Through watching the Theatrical cabaret performer we are brought into her world, maybe made to laugh, or cry, or become conscious of our own sexuality or foolishness or grace, or inspired to dance ourselves.

I sometimes see performers calling themselves "theatrcial" when they are not. Let me make a few fast friends here: it is not enough to write a great performance intro to be read by the MC stating that one is the goddess such and such doing a shamanistic ritual theatrical piece about the myth of such and such and then get on stage and do the same Tribal schtick that one always does. No. that is not theatrical. Nor is it Theatrical to get dressed up in an elaborate costume and say one is (Fill in the Blank) and then do a bunch of super-duper moves without meaning. Costuming is important but it is only part of the art form.

No. Theatre is an fine art form in itself. It has technique, theory, history, etc. Many dancers (particularly, eh-hem, Tribal Fusion dancers) will complain that Theatrical dancers are not demonstrating enough "technique" in their performances; that they are "resorting" to "tricks" instead of really "dancing". Oh bullshit. (Though maybe this is true sometimes with an unskilled actress) Again, Theatre itself has a technique, a technique that takes years to learn. And, when done well, it can make the difference between dance that is truly art, as opposed to dance that is a series of skillful moves, which  is craft.

A

A successful Theatrical piece has both excellent dance form and technique as well as dramatic skill and technique. It also requires an extra element of heart and soul in order to create the magic needed to bring the audience into the experience of the piece. 

To do good Theatrical Bellydance: keep going to Bellydance classes. Study form. Do your drills. But also, study Theatre. Take a class. Try improv. And maybe most important of all: study yourself. Study your psychology. Learn what moves you. Define what you want to express. Take the chance at being emotionally authentic. Be vulnerable. Be bold.

Aepril will be teaching her workshop "A Look Beyond: The Art of Costuming and Male-up for Theatrical Bellydance" on Friday at 6pm at Lumen Obscura in Santa Cruz, CA. 

Spiritual Dance

I was recently asked by a friend over tea: (paraphrased) How does your spirituality influence your bellydancing? 

I answer this question differently every time I'm asked, revealing its complex and fluid nature. And it's a subject that is of great import to me. 

My forthcoming Bellydance DVD, Theatre of the Dark Goddess, deals with many threads involved in the relationship between spirit and dance. But some thoughts after reading this Wikipedia:

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 Spirituality can refer to an ultimate or an alleged immaterial reality;^[1] an inner path enabling a person to discover the essence of his/her being; or the “deepest values and meanings by which people live.”^[2] Spiritual practices, including meditation, prayer and contemplation, are intended to develop an individual's inner life; spiritual experience includes that of connectedness with a larger reality, yielding a more comprehensive self; with other individuals or the human community; with nature or the cosmos; or with the divine realm.^[3] Spirituality is often experienced as a source of inspiration or orientation in life.^[4] It can encompass belief in immaterial realities or experiences of the immanent or transcendent nature of the world.

Bellydance does indeed help me discover and rediscover my inner essence. And though its discipline and execution it is a spiritual practice. Drilling can turn into a meditation; the creation of choreography becomes a contemplation of inner archetypes. The act of creation is a ritual and a prayer. I pray to Thee, Great Goddess, that I might be a perfect conduit for your Divine Spirit.

Photo by Peter Paradise

I am most often trying to express what I experience in my inner world. As a shamanic artist I experience Underworld journey with all its shadows; it is my calling to transform the demons though my dance, giving them "voice" by being a medium for their wrath. It is shadow work--personal, yes, but collective as well.

Bellydance is ancient. It's modern form fuses back together the corporeal and the spiritual, as things were in times long ago. This is important to me. Bellydance has powerful healing properties--psychologically, physically, emotionally, spiritually. This healing power goes deeper than "body image" or self-esteem" only--it connects us back to our feminine center, the hara or place of power. I think that all of us hold in our collective unconscious "memories" of divine feminine power; Bellydance can connect us to that.

Bellydance is a great way to raise energy in ritual work! Perhaps this was part of its original purpose--to work as sympathetic magick for healthy childbirth and erotic power.

One of my first workshop teachers, Dunya of NYC, called her dance "Spiritual Bellydance". I love her great work, even--or especially--now. Her work combines the spirituality of Sufism with its whirling, with Bellydance. We were taught "Dancemeditation", a form of moving meditation that has strongly influenced the way I teach my own students the inner work of dance. It was Dunya's video that I watched over and over again to learn how to do her beautiful, graceful, fluid hand and arm work. She is a master who dances with a serenity, power and loveliness that is beyond compare.

The invisible world has much to do with dance; music itself is invisible! So is the spirit that moves us; I use dance to make my inner world visible. Some of it still stays invisible, but perceptible just the same. We have senses that perceive well beyond what the "five senses" can do; it is partly what we perceive with our other senses that gives dance--as experienced as audience and as dancer--its magic, its beauty, its feelings of sacred communion, and glamour. Spirit.  

Bellydance Costuming as Art

I recently read an interview in a national Bellydance mag with a respected and widely sought after Bellydance teacher and performer. When asked for advice she would impart to new dancers, she said (and I paraphrase) that one should spend more money learning the dance via workshops, classes and videos, than on costuming.

As a Bellydance teacher, I agree. Albeit with some reservation.

I agree, if one's main focus is on becoming an excellent Bellydancer. To become a Bellydancer with a capital "b", it takes years of dedication to learning the form, cultural context, history, and traditions of this dance. Correct technique, form and fitness are a must. One must attend shows and events to watch other dancers, and learn the difference between styles. It takes many years of study to become a master, and to find ones own voice.

So what is it that makes me uneasy about this idea that costuming should only come later, AFTER one has become an advanced dancer?

Well, let me tell you a bit about myself. I'm a Bellydancer, but I consider myself to be an Artist first. Bellydance is one medium that I use to express my inner world. (I'm also a musician, actor, poet, and I've been known to paint and sculpt once in a while, too.)

I'm a Shaman. It's my job in this incarnation to interpret the underworld and inner Archetypal landscape to the community. The medium is not the important thing; that's only the vehicle. I'M only the vehicle. It's more about the message; the content. It's about the embodiment of spirit, and communication between the invisibles and the audience.

For me, costuming is a major part of the art, part of the ritual. The making of the costuming is a part of a contemplative practice. Sometimes other people make the costumes for me (I'm bad at sewing) but in this case the envisioning of the costume is the art. What would The Morrigan wear to tell her story? How would She appear? I let Her tell me.

I spend many hours opening myself up to spirit, listening to what I'm being told. I also do a ton of research. Once an archetype talks to me, and I know that I will be performing her, I do my homework and find everything I can about her mythology and history. As a primarily right-brained person, I work with the symbols I find and make connections between them. It is in this way that I create my theatrical persona.

I then become this character. I practice being her. I practice being her walking down the street, etc. She becomes more and more solid this way. Once I hit the stage, I'm as ready as I can be to channel her.

Self-portrait as The Washer at the Ford

So, my orientation toward Bellydance has been different from many. I love this dance for its own sake, deeply and truly. But I do it as an Artist/Shaman first, not as a Bellydancer first. It took me many years to realize that fact fully; with all the pressure to become an expert on Middle Eastern culture, to be fully versed in every bit of dance vocabulary possible, to know all the drum rhythms and their names, to fit into the Bellydance community. I've had quite a journey, and I've learned who I am and who I am not: I am NOT a keeper of tradition, though I am well versed in it. I'm very glad that some people are keepers, but this is not my path. 

Yes, I think that technique and form are paramount to being a master dancer--how else could one tell a story well? My tools need to be effective and sharp, and that means continuing to improve my dance skills, honing my craft, making my work better and better. The more control, elegance and athleticism I can express with my body, the happier the archetype will be to speak through it.

Would I tell my students to work on their dance skills first, and only then spend their money on costuming?

Here's what I would say: If you aspire to be a dancer, you need to know how to dance. It is not OK to hop onstage with a great costume but not be able to dance well. Not if you want to call yourself Bellydancer. Whatever art form you use, you need to hone your craft before you present to the world.

HOWEVER, costuming and creating persona is an art form, too. It needn't come second. Creating costuming can help you find your voice, and give you impetus to learn technique. Beauty loves to show itself. But it requires right timing. Pay close attention to your body and its feelings; it will tell when you are ready. If you create a beautiful costume to wear, give your art what it deserves and dance it well. Or sing it well. Or act it well. If it is your inclination, be an artist on every level you can.

There are many valid approaches. For me, costuming is not decoration on what is essentially technical prowess, nor is it icing on the cake or anything like that. The movement needs to have meaning, the costume does, too. The art is made as a whole.

The Four-fold Way: An Approach to Performance

I've written what is below based on anthrologist and author Angeles Arrien's "Four Fold Way", a mode of being and practice that is harmony with the deep self and with Nature.

I teach this to my students as a way to approach performance. It is how I endeavor to approach performance. It is also an approach to LIFE!

The Four-fold Way:

1.       Show up:

be present in mind body and spirit.

2.       Pay attention:

Quiet the "noise" of the mind. Sense fully what is currently going on around you. Listen to your body and to the music, note by note. Do not go forward or back in time.

3.       Tell the truth:

 

Be authentic! Be where you are now, as opposed to where you'd like to be. Feel what you are really feeling; your body will always tell you how to do this. Dramatic art versus pretension.

 

4.       Be unattached to outcome: 

 

Staying fully in the present ensures the best outcome. Keep your mind focused on what you are doing, as opposed to what you will do or what you did do. Let go of judgment. Open yourself to life, be a medium for energy as opposed to controlling it. TRUST yourself fully and unconditionally!

 

 

"Theatre of the Dark Goddess: Bellydance with Aepril Schaile" DVD Fundraiser!

Theatre of the Dark Goddess: Bellydance with Aepril Schaile

A Bellydance instructional/performance DVD focusing on dance technique, form, expression, energy and ritual.

Aepril is thrilled to announce her new self-produced DVD to bring you her unique approach to Bellydance! Help make it happen!
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/aepril/theatre-of-the-dark-goddess-bellydance-with-aepril

Aepril Schaile: EEMED 2008